Recently, I was relegated to rest because
of a severe case of shingles. Not only was the pain unbearable but also the
entire feeling of being ill was as well. What started out at the beginning of
October as a short-lived illness ultimately lasted the entire month plus some. Consequently,
October flew by and with it went the column I didn’t write, the foliage I
didn’t get to see, and the family reunion I didn’t attend. Recovery has been
slow but steady and as debilitating as it was, having shingles provided me with
some much needed insight.
While I was lying in bed, I thought
about the folks I might be letting down as well as all the responsibilities
that had to be left undone. I considered the dishes, clothes, and floors that
needed to be cleaned as well as the correspondence that had to be addressed. The
only energy I had was just enough to assure my two constant feline companions
that stayed with me throughout the ordeal were taken care of.
As I was mulling things over and
considering the important people in my life such as my children and grandkids, some
other ideas crept in along with the guilt-ridden ones. I started to reflect
about things I had wanted to do but did not because of commitments, time
restraints and procrastination. I thought about the violin lessons, sculpture
classes, and oil paintings that did not materialize. I considered the bookcase in
my living room that was stacked with beautiful books that I had not read along
with the manuscripts that were not mailed. The imbalances in my life became
more apparent, and I wondered if I would have time to take advantage of my new
found awareness.
It occurred to me that the advice I had
given to others who were overwhelmed was lost on me. I suddenly remembered what
I was taught during graduate school in that taking care of oneself was
paramount to being able to help others. By putting off those things in life
that added to my well-being and feelings of happiness, I was not living up to
standards of care as a mother, teacher, friend and as a therapist. After my
enlightenment, I vowed that I would start implementing those things that not
only would give me joy but also would add to my mental and physical health as
well.
My advice then is to take some time each
day and to be good to yourself. Even if it is just ten minutes, doing it each
day helps to give enjoyment and purpose to life. It doesn’t have to be
spectacular – just a walk around the neighborhood might be in order or maybe
listening to a favorite piece of music or painting a chair. What matters is
that it brings a smile of contentment and helps those endorphins (happy
neurotransmitters) expand and circulate. Shingles brought impressions to my
body that I hope will fade in time but also to my spirit that I pray will
remain.
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