Sporting Goods - By Dave deBree

It is a sure sign that spring is near. It brings with it true hope for the future and it signals the great arrival of the positive and that peace and happiness is achievable in this lifetime. 
 

It is the greatest event in all of sports. Bigger than what the World Series is to baseball – even bigger than when the Red Sox are playing. More important than the Super Bowl, even when the Patriots are playing. The Olympics cannot compete with this event’s importance and neither can NASCAR.

In anticipation of this epic sports event, a significant percentage of males in this country schedule emergency appointments with their local optometrists for upgrades to their prescription eye glasses or just maybe they purchase better readers. Yes it is time and all is right with the world. 

Of course by now, you know that this truly greatest sports event I refer to is the publishing of the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. 

Yes I remember well when I first was introduced to this sporting event. I was eighteen and Cheryl Tiegs was seventeen. Now I’m sixty-one and Cheryl is sixty, and I need eyeglasses.

I have three sons and they are fine gentlemen. I respect and admire them all. They were good students and musicians and artists and they know how to take action when there was a need. So the other day while I was looking through some of their old papers and drawings from their early years in school, I came across this curious letter to a magazine publisher, which may have been written by them at various stages. One was written in early kindergarten, another preschool and another in second or third grade. In view of this sporting event and its impact, I had to share this letter with you.

“Deer Gys,

Thak-yu for the cullering buks with the pickchers of the nise laydies that wee kan culler on with ar crayons and hav fun. But ars are al cullered up and mum thru dads ones owt wer the cat goes and hez mad. So kan we get mor frum u gys. That wud bee good cuz ar friends likem tu. Wee now they cost muny so we have got 1.15 cents frum dadz canz in the grage fur u to be payd. If u cud hav the gy in the brown truk bringum cuz he drives fast and dusnt say much ulso not wen mums home.

Thanks, Dads Suns

p.s. Ef u ned more muny we can get it frum ar dad on fryda.”

Yes folks, all is right with the world. Spring is truly near.