You know what really grinds my
gears…?
Unsolicited
advice.
A few
weeks ago, I was minding my own business, enjoying my favorite beverage when I
was given some unsolicited advice. “Hey man… don’t you know that stuff is
poison?”
I’ll
bet you think I’m a hardcore coffee guy. Or maybe you think I indulge in beer
or some other alcoholic beverage.
Nope.
I hate coffee and rarely indulge in alcohol.
My
drug of choice is Pepsi Max.
For
those that don’t understand what Pepsi Max is, it’s a caffeine laced diet cola.
The magic word “diet” would clue in some people in to the probability that it
contains an artificial sweetener, like aspartame. If you are so inclined to
think that, you would be correct.
Now,
I’m a reasonably educated man. I like to think that I keep up on the news. I’ve
read about how harmful and/or evil aspartame supposedly can be to the human
body. It causes tumors the size of the human head on lab rats and it causes
bunny rabbits to spontaneously combust. It may even be the second leading cause
of global warming (next to George W. Bush, of course). And don’t get me started
on the stuff that I see about aspartame on the Facebook.
Unless
you’ve lived under a rock, you probably know how bad any kind of soda is for the human body. (For those emerging from
caves this week…let me be the first to tell you that soda is bad for you.)
My
problem isn’t with soda. It’s with the advice.
To
take the time out of your day to “inform” me that diet soda is bad for me is
absurd. My response to people that do that offer this “advice” is to question
whether or not they have ever smoked a cigarette, had too much to drink,
neglected to brush their teeth after eating, or had unprotected sex. All of
these are terrible acts that could also have horrible side effects on the human
body.
The
point here is that nobody is perfect. We’ve all done something that is less
than healthy to our bodies. If I went through the trouble of pointing out the
bad habits of everybody that I meet, my finger would get sore from pointing so
much. If you’re one of those people that feels the need to point out the
shortcomings of others…Well, good for you. Apparently you have beaten the odds
and are perfect. You’ve never eaten red meat, jaywalked, had fried chicken,
driven too fast, or not washed your hands for a full 30 seconds after using a
public restroom.
If
you are one of the many flawed individuals that walks the planet, just enjoy
your life and not nitpick my indulgence of the world’s most perfect beverage...Pepsi
Max.
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